The things inside my head

The first item of business it to say that I haven't done well with my big plan but that isn't what this entry is about.  I am going to make a couple of changes in my life.

CHANGE #1:  I am moving in with my sister.  Splitting the expenses is going to be a big help for both of us.  She is working and in school and I need to pay off my bills and save money.  I'm not that wild about her place and she smokes so I'm sure in no time all my stuff will smell like smoke but it's going to save me quite a bit of money.  She lives really close to where we work so I'll save on gas as well.  I want to pay off my debt and then find a job across the state where my oldest sister lives.  I miss her and her family and they live outside Charlotte NC.  I get really tired of living in the middle of nowhere where there is nothing to do.  I need to have a healthy little nest egg to get myself established once I get there.

CHANGE #2:  I signed up to sell MARYKAY cosmetics.  I've signed up before but didn't really have the drive to do it.  You can make money with MaryKay but you have to work.  Some people get into it and expect easy money but it's a job just like any other job and you have to work at it.  It is going to be a very part-time deal and quite honestly I'm doing it as much for the networking and meetings as for the money.  I need to get out more and meet people and this will be the perfect opportunity.  It will also motivate me to always look my best.  You can't sell makeup if you aren't wearing it.

CHANGE #3:  I ordered about $100 worth of books associated with the operating system that we use here at work.  I am going to learn this system inside and out.  There are lots of jobs around Charlotte that require this system and I want one of them.

So there, I'm on my way.  Slowly but surely I am going to make things happen in my life.  More later.

What's your favorite foreign accent?

A hot man with a British accent is like the best thing ever!  Jason Statham and Clive Owen drive me crazy!  It seems in the last decade that a huge rush of British actors have taken over Hollywood.  Jude Law, Orlando Bloom etc.  The Scots and the Irish are hot too.  I wouldn't kick Colin Ferrell out of bed for eating crackers.  :)  I also have a mad crush on Billy Boyd from Lord of the Rings...  he's a Scot, and a sexy little Scot he is....

What's your motto?

"Keep on keepin' on!"  That's all you can do when life gets crappy.  You can't let stuff get you down.  I haven't lived by this motto for the last few years.  I've let my problems stop me from living.  I'm living by my motto again now though and not letting anything get in my way.

Ok, so I ate like crazy this weekend on my trip and I have already told you that I want to lose all this weight.  Well tomorrow is my big start date.  I have one bowl's worth of ice cream in the freezer that I'm going to eat tonight.  Below is the plan, how I'm going to tackle the weight loss.

• DRINK ONLY WATER - no more diet soda or anything else with sugar or artificial sweetener.  Only exception will be a little milk  a couple of times a week in a bowl of cereal.
• NO MORE SUGAR - no more candy bars or other sugary foods.  Only exceptions will be some fruits with natural sugars and I intend to eat these early in the day.  Again milk has natural sugar and this only at breakfast 2 times a week max.
• EAT LOW CARB - no potatoes, white bread, white rice, corn, carrots and other root veggies, or anything made with white flour.  Brown rice and wheat bread in small portions a couple of times a week are permisible.  Beans and peas are permisible.  They are good carbs.
• REDUCE RED MEAT CONSUMPTION AND EAT MORE FISH AND POULTRY
• STOP EATING DAIRY - Again, the only exception is a small amount of milk a couple of times a week with my cereal. 
• DO A TARGETED EXERCISE ROUTINE IN THE MORNING AND WALK FOR 1 HOUR IN THE EVENING - I have digital cable and I get FITTV.  They have all kinds of workouts playing most all of the time.  There is also FITTV on demand where I can select a workout whenever I want to.  I am going to concentrate my morning workouts on toning/flexibility and get my cardio on my walks, which eventually I will turn into runs.
• NO MORE EATING OUT OR FAST FOOD - I am going to prepare my own meals and bring my lunch to work everyday.  If I do have to go out for a special occasion or something like that I will follow the plan but I will make a concerted effort to only eat what I prepare.  Eating out is too big a temptation for me right now.
• GET 8 HOURS OF SLEEP EVERY NIGHT - Most diet plans recommend getting plenty of sleep so your body can work at it's best.  I'm a night owl so I may have to take some Tylenol PM to help me out at first but from now on I'm going to be in bed by 10pm so I can be up at 6am.
• TAKE MY VITAMINS - I have all these vitamins that I bought to take for this diet plan that I never did.  They can't hurt and I know that B12 helps my mood.  They will keep me well at the least and that will help me maintain my plan.  I can't diet when I'm sick, it just doesn't work for me.
• TAKE PART IN A MAJOR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY EVERY WEEKEND - A hike, a long bike ride, walking all over a fair or flea market, swimming, canoeing, playing sports or something such as that that will last all day or all weekend.  Something to challenge me and help me see the progress I'm making from my workouts.
• RECORD MY PROGRESS TRUTHFULLY - If I succeed I record it, if I fail I record it, all here in my blog. 

I flew for the first time on Friday.  I flew to Chicago to meet a man that I met on www.43things.com.  We've been talking for a month or so and I figured that at the very least we will be really good friends.  I've never done anything like that before.  It was really great. 

Lots of people told me how dangerous it was or that they would never do anything like that but really I don't know what the big deal was.  If he had been a weirdo all I had to do was go back to the airport and come back home.  I didn't let him take me out into the woods or tie me up or anything...  I just don't get why people are so scared to live.  I was scared for the longest time and I don't understand it now. 

The guy I met is great.  He was polite and funny and generous.  I can't say that I'm in love or anything but he definitely has potential.  Being back home today I find myself missing him and I think that that is a good sign. 

Chicago was fabulous!  I love it there!  It is the perfect blend of old and new, gray and green, grit and culture.  The food was wonderful and the weather was perfect.  It made me realize what a sheltered life I have lived.  I'm sure he was amused at the things that amazed me and that I wanted to see.  I'm not exactly a hillbilly but I guess I don't miss it by much.  I've been to NYC and DC so it's not like I'm a big city virgin or anything but the little things facinate me and I think that's ok.

What are your personal memories of September 11th?

I was at work and I remember feeling mostly helplessness and fear but also for the first time in recent memory I felt connected to my fellow americans.  I felt the loss as if they were my neighbors and not 600 or so miles away.  It was a reality check that I will never forget, we aren't exempt from terror.  Live life as if today were your last and don't leave important things unsaid.  You never know...

'

What's your middle name?  Is there a story or history behind it?

Anna...not significant...I was kid number 4 of 5 and I think my mom was running out of options.  My dad said there was some queen somewhere named Julie Anna and that's where it came from but my  mom rolls her eyes at that.  It's not unpleasant so I don't mind.

I've not been happy with my job for a long time.  I like what I do but not the situation that I do it in.  When I took my current position it was with the understanding that I would get a certain amount of training, support, etc and all that has suddenly gone away.  I talked about this to a friend of mine, the one that I am going to meet this weekend, and he really helped me to see that I'm the only one that can fix this.

I realize that I can make the best of my situation or that I can find something else.  I actually have the framework of a pretty sweet deal where I am.  I basically come and go as I please, I don't have people breathing down my neck all the time and I'm the only person really qualified to do my job. 

I realized last night that I can use this company to learn a new skill and then take that free education and make a lot of money with it elsewhere in a year or so.  I'm basically learning a new operating system and have plenty of free time to tinker with it and a certain degree of tech support to learn from.  I'm going to buy some books about it and teach myself the stuff that the IT department promised to send me to training for but now don't want to pay for.  I want my current company to come to NEED me so that when I get ready to jump ship for a way better deal they might try to do what it takes to keep me.  I may decide to stay if the money is right. 

Only I can better my situation and if I keep putting it off it will be too late.  I'm an intelligent person and I don't know why I'm afraid to succeed.  From now on I'm moving forward.  I'm done treading water.

So today is day one of the rest of my life.  It started out pretty crappy.  I bought a new blouse for my vacation and I was going to test drive it today.  I was in a hurry and I burned a hole in it with the iron.  That sucked.  I also overslept so I was running late.  I couldn't figure out what to wear so I'm wearing this sweater that I hate.  I know it's summer but that is the other sucky thing, it's always cold in my office so I wear sweaters in the summer time and freeze all day then sweat all the way home because it's hot outside. 

Things are going to get better today.  I am going back to the store and get another blouse.  I love it that much.  I'm also going to start packing for my trip.  If it's not raining I'm going to go for a walk this afternoon.  I am going to weigh 150 lbs on my 35th birthday.  That gives me:

roughly 21 &1/2 months

or

roughly 93 weeks

or

exactly 646 days

to lose appoximately 165 lbs.  I am going to eat right and exercise.  I've always looked for something easy or miraculous but you know what, there is only one way to lose weight.  Take in fewer calories than you burn.  That means eating fewer calories and moving your ass more.  Gotta go now, need to actually work a little today  = )

firsts for me this month:

first blog

first time instant messaging

first cellphone

first time having cable

first plane trip

first time meeting someone I met online

first time I've felt really alive in years

How I got how I am is a very long story and I don't want to revisit it.  I'm in my thirties and I haven't been living my life for the past decade, I've been hiding.  I'm going to change things.  This blog is going to be my outlet.  Come with me on my journey or don't.  It's up to you.  Most of you will probably think that I'm lame.  That's ok too.  I'm done worrying about what you think.